Cows Have To Stop Farting In California

The Federalist Papers reports:

IDIOTS: This State Just Passed a Law Regulating Cow Farts

September 21, 2016, By Robert Gehl

It’s official: Cows have to stop farting in California.

All of those flatulent bovines are going to have to head across the Colorado River into Arizona – or something – because Governor Moonbeam just signed a law regulating “methane emissions” from cows.

Governor Moonbeam

The new law – signed by Jerry Brown on Monday – mandates a 40 percent reduction in cow farts by 2030 that are alleged to be contributors to climate change.

Now… here’s what’s interesting. The state knows they can’t realistically reduce bovine farting. They’ve got a mandate to cut methane output from cow butts by 40 percent “if there’s viable technology to reduce it,” CBS Sacramento is reporting.

Dairy farmers – and most folks with more than about two brain cells to rub together – say this is an idiotic idea.

The focus here is to highlight ARB’s efforts at over-regulating the dairy industry,” said Anja Raudabaugh, chief executive of Western United Dairymen. “By nature’s design, (cows) pass lots of gas. Quite frankly, we want them to expel gas so they don’t explode.”

The Milk Producers Council has also lambasted the prospect of new regulation, with the lobby group’s general manager Rob Vandenheuvel stating that the methane rules plan “threatens the future of the California dairy industry.”

The methane produced doesn’t linger in the atmosphere like carbon dioxide does, but experts say that it’s 25 times more potent as a “greenhouse gas,” The Guardian is reporting.

Of course, it’s ironic that the state would try to limit cow farting when they took almost four months to cap a natural gas leak that spewed 97,100 metric tons of methane into the atmosphere (that’s as much methane as 100 million cows produce in one year, by the way). With 5.5 million cows in California, it would take almost 20 years for the cows to produce as much methane as was released in four months.

So down in Argentina, they have a similar problem – not cow farts, but stupid politicians – so they’re trying to find a way to capture the flatulence. What have they come up with? Cow Fart Backpacks.

Scientists down there developed a system that places a catheter tube into the butts of cows to collect any methane produced that goes into an inflated bag (Why does it have to be pink?), then the gasses are collected and used as an energy source.

The new law also goes after refrigerators and air conditioners and for an increase in composting organic waste, which also emits methane as it breaks down.